A Love Letter


 Well, I guess we both knew it was inevitable.
Looking back, we had a pretty good run, I suppose. I mean, we had our ups and downs, sure, every relationship does. I suppose I held on to the happier memories hoping that we could relive them once again, but I was only continually reminded that sometimes the past is better just left there.

I remember when we first crossed paths, many years ago in college. I was so innocent and sheltered, and you opened me up to another world. You gave me confidence and helped me out of my awkward shell. I was chatty, funny even. With you by my side, I was the life of the party. You’d usher me out nightly into a world I’d never known…parties, dances, mixers and bars. I was immediately mesmerized by your magnetism and charm. We were a formidable team. Through you, I found what I thought was my voice.

Of course, all good things must come to a end and as I matured and entered the “real” world, I would often wonder if ultimately we had a positive relationship. Sometimes you’d talk me into staying out too late, or even worse, coax me into chatting up the wrong fella. Sometimes you’d convince me into something so outrageous and dangerous, people doubted our sanity. But, I always forgave you. Other times we’d get together and reminisce. Often, we’d cry tears of regret for all of our stupid and regrettable decisions. But, time and time again, I’d return, the inevitable moth to the flame as when you shone brightly, you’d be hard to resist. You made me feel better about myself. You gave me strength at times as well as tremendous shame. You were such a chameleon and I, your hapless puppet. You were always what I needed when I needed you, or so I thought. Sometimes though, you made me hate myself.

We’ve broken ties time and time again. It never lasts. I always come crawling back, unable to escape your charm and your constant accessibility. Always being there for me was something I counted on, as pathetic as that sounds. However, more often than not, our excursions began to end in negativity and regret. It was a painful truth to acknowledge, but our relationship had become toxic. I guess I finally outgrew you.

Well, enough is enough, my old friend. Our love story must end. Perhaps about two decades over due, really.

I’ll miss you, sure. We had a lot of fun, and like a couple after a terrible divorce I suppose eventually I’ll only remember the good times and the happy memories and wonder ultimately what went wrong.

Then again, maybe not. So long, old pal.

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