I bought a new purse today at lunch. Just a basic hippie-boho-looking-faux-leather-every day bag.
Salesgirl: I unpacked these purses yesterday, they are so cool.
Me: I love it! I especially like this little semi-hidden pocket. I can smuggle in contraband!
Me: Yeah, you know…like little bottles of booze and some weed or something. Maybe a crack rock or two?!
Salesgirl: *visibly concerned* Or like maybe candy at the movie theatre?!?
Me: YES OF COURSE THAT IS TOTALLY WHAT I MEANT TO SAY, M&M’s AND SHIT. (suddenly I’m shouting)
Salesgirl: This is awkward.
Me: YES IT IS. (still shouting)