We like to stay in the loop.

A friend of mine and I were sitting at a local café after work the other day.

Suddenly, everyone’s phones went off in unison.

“Oh, that’s an Amber alert”, said my pal.

We both picked up our phones to silence them and I noticed that my phone also had a CNN update that read:  “Ben Affleck completes alcohol rehabilitation”.

I laughed and showed her the face of my phone so she could read it.  Her facial expression was one of sheer confusion.

“Oh, wait,” she finally said, “do you drunks get special notifications or something”?!

HELL YES WE DO UPDATE YOUR SETTINGS NOW FOLKS

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